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Anticipation can kill more than the event itself.

I know the movie is coming for my favorite book series, but I can’t see it yet; the moment I see the hand touch the hot kettle and can’t stop myself and have to wait for the burn. The product is unavoidable. There is no way to see the movie earlier (I’ve tried) and my hand is in motion, but waiting for it to happen helplessly is almost worse than the effect.

College is coming. No way to avoid it. Next year I will be heading away from the home I have known the last 18 years to somewhere unfamiliar. There is really no way to prepare. I have tried to do my best, but no matter how many classes I take or how much money I save, it will never be everything I need. I’m just going to have to jump and hope for the best outcome.

It’s scary. What’s worse than the plunge itself is this time I’m spending in limbo, not out of high school but mind completely focused on college.

I could distract myself for a while, with applications and then with the unnerving worry I would get all rejection letters. Once my worry was relieved I took a deep breath and thought my problems were all over.

I was very wrong; I instead have decisions to make that will affect the rest of my life. All the while I know next year I will have uprooted my life and relocated, but I still can’t decide where.

The lack of knowledge drives me insane. It makes me want to just throw a dart towards my options, and whichever it lands on will be it. But I know I’ll regret that later, so I just continue to mull it over, all while the anticipation is over my head. I know, however, if I let that feeling decide I will regret it.

So I have to be patient, because there is no point racing to a red light.

Addie Iverson is a senior at Rosemount High School. Her column appears every other week.

Tags: opinion, rosemount, commentaries